A Post About Confidence

DAY 12

Confidence is a value that in many ways controls our lives. If you want to impress that boy or girl you'll need confidence. If you wanted to get through a job interview you would need confidence. To earn the trusts of others you would need confidence. 

What Makes This Value So Highly Sought After?

Everyone has a rational voice in their head that monitors each of their decisions. It's there to minimise the risk of failure and embarrassment. In doing so it often tells leads to decisions such as to not talk to that boy or girl and not apply for that job interview. There's zero risk for failure and embarrassment, but also zero chance of success.

People who are confident aren't affected by their subconscious fears. They seek out opportunities and create chances for success. They focus on the chance of success rather than the chance of failure, and try to maximise that chance with the present situation.

By focusing on the success they display a sense of "knowing what they are doing". They strive to bring the situation into the direction that they want. They have a vision of success and aren't afraid to share it with others. Naturally people are attracted to these visions and give more value to a confident individual. Confident people focus on the success and that's what people want.

Finding Confidence Within Yourself

There is no easy way to find confidence and that's a fact. People are confident because they have been through failure and have experienced the paths to failure. They know how to fail and that's actually a valuable attribute. They know the right things to avoid rather than avoiding the whole situations themselves. 

A person can go through a bout of success after success, but suddenly fail hard resulting in a loss of confidence. In these situations of adversity a person must be able to remain confident and persevere. People who have failed will know how to keep this composure. 

For example a person, as a young man, would need to find confidence to approach women. If they get rejected it would be a huge blow to their self-confidence, but they can learn and experience many approaches to learn that it isn't as bad as they think. Through experience they can build a tougher and stronger sense of self-confidence.

By knowing what leads to failure they will also know what leads to success. They've seen and experienced success, and know what to look out for. Condition yourself through many difficult situations and confidence would eventually emerge.

Avoiding Procrastination

DAY 11

I got the new expansion for the massively multiplayer game World of Warcraft recently and have been pouring my time into that. Instead of getting stuff done I've been interacting and adventuring in a fantasyland with other like minded people. 

I've been trying to stay productive and keep my writing alive so I felt like I needed to make this post. To help myself and to help all who want to avoid procrastination I have tried searching for a way to prevent it. 

In the event of that I stumbled onto a technique called the 2-minute rule. I've been using this rule and would like to share of how it works. 

The Rule: If it takes less than two minutes, do it now!

A lot of the tasks that you neglect are a summation of smaller tasks. You have the ability to deal with the little tasks, but you find reasons to not do them. 

The 2-minute rule helps you overcome laziness and procrastination because it makes it easy to start an action. Part of procrastination is finding a task difficult to approach and start. Building this habit of approaching smaller tasks helps you build discipline and allows you to tackle greater tasks.

Every goal can be broken down into 2-minute segments and conditioning yourself to acting upon them will definitely increase your productivity. 

Doing the tasks builds momentum so often you'll find yourself immersing yourself in the task for longer. If you want to write better then start by writing for 2 minutes. Often you'll find yourself writing for an hour. If you wanted to go for a run then you should take 2 minutes to put on your running shoes and get out the house.

A significant part of being productive and avoiding procrastination is initiating the tasks. The rule makes you initiate tasks and helps you stay on track of your goals. It guides you through each step and allows you to work your way up.

Try inputting this in your life now. If you don't try then you'll never know what you could have accomplished.

Embracing Today

DAY 10

Super Short Thursdays

Everyone has dreams that they want to reach out to. A goal or at least a thought would have slipped into one's mind during their lifetime. Exercising, learning an instrument, writing, and etc it could be anything. Start that thing you always wanted to do today. Think of how much time you spend on working on these dreams of yours. Do you feel content with the effort you are putting in? If not then how much effort do you think you should be putting in? Put that extra effort in today and start making progress towards that goal. If you don't think you're dong enough to accomplish your dreams then you aren't progressing. Reaching one's goals and dreams requires diligence and discipline.

A Native American proverb describes each new day as a chance to change your life. Each day you have the choice to decide what you're going to do that day. Make the decision to start what you want today because not a day can go to waste. Embrace that today is as good as any other day, if not the best day to start. The worst feeling is regretting that you didn't start something in the past. You will kick yourself in the head for that. Don't let that feeling of regret come at all by embracing today. 

Life: Rolling the Dice

DAY 9

Motivation for people who aren't doing so well in high school or life in general

I have to be completely honest here. I didn't enjoy my high school life as others have. There were many factors at play here, but mainly it was due to study troubles, friendship struggles, and girls. I yearned to restart my life and was really looking forward to studying abroad after high school. After I graduated I left Macau to study in New Zealand and the aforementioned problems did not bother me anymore. It wasn't as simple as just going there - much thought and patience brought me to where I am. I knew a long time ago that I can choose to go where I want and chase for what I want. I wanted to go to New Zealand and study a health profession. Now I'm pursuing a career in pharmacy and life's great. Just like me everyone has a chance to restart their life and be where they want to be. You can make the change, and roll the dice. See where you go, who you meet, and experience so much more. 

Just Leave

If you don't like where you are in life - figuratively or literally - then you should just leave. Unless you have a family member to take care of or a similar commitment then you have no excuse to not leave. Don't worry about what happens next because it's wasting mental energy and unproductive. Think of the present and decide on where you want to go. Plan on how to get there and don't look back. This is your life we are talking about, don't stay in a place where you are miserable! If you have the chance to re-roll the dice then take it - you'll have nothing to lose! I don't care where you live, there are cheap plane tickets to many different parts of the world. I guarantee that travelling to a unfamiliar place is an addictive and pleasant feeling.

New Experiences

Immersing yourself in a different environment helps you learn about the world and helps you find your place in the world. Each city, town, country, etc that you go to will have it's own kind of uniqueness. It may be their culture or it may be their ideologies. Those are just two of many things to look out for in each place that you go.  Enjoy each experience and note down what really sticks out to you. Go as far as you can and come back to the best places. You deserve to experience the world.

Find some kind of work in each place that you go - you'll be surprised by all the opportunities out there. This gives you a lot of experience and a more in depth look into where you are. You would get a feel of what it feels like to be a local. In addition this helps you stay in places that you like for longer.

Change Will Come

If you are actively pursuing change then change will come. Be patient and hang in there while you wait for the chance to re-roll your dice. Bear with the difficult people and situations that you are in because they won't matter in the end. You won't have to deal with them once you're gone. Work hard for change because it comes with a price. Work hard for whatever that's required for you to roll your dice. You can't just wait for change without putting the effort to change. Get that A average, get that job, or do whatever it takes. Initiate the change then the ball will start rolling until BAM. It all clicks and your on a plane to Russia or where ever.

Images

DAY 8

Ill keep it short today.

As long as our minds exist, we are constantly sensing the world and understanding it. A sight, a sound, a feeling, a taste, these all contribute to the creation of imagery in our minds. When strangers are nice to us we create an image of that person. From that moment on that stranger is a nice person in our minds. If a stranger is unkind to us we will remember him as an unkind person. Our nature of creating these images make first impressions very significant. 

Realise that the image that you create is just a delusion. That person that you observed is always changing, they aren't always one type of person. It is what your mind is telling you to accept due to what you felt at that moment. Our mind links sensations to feelings so it is restricting us from true freedom of thinking.

Remove these images and think freely without bias. People aren't regularly out there to defile you and people won't always be kind. They live their own lives and care more for themselves than others. Accept the present and forget about the past. Be free from worry, doubt, hatred, anger, resentment, and disappointment. Let go and be free.

You cannot conquer a free man. The most you can do is kill him. - Robert Heinlein

Studying Like A Boss

DAY 7

My parents used to nag me all the time in high school about studying and doing schoolwork. I was stubborn and thought I had all my knowledge down. This was because I would do everything last minute, but never failed. All this ego hit me in the face when it got time to apply for universities. I was lucky enough to get accepted into a program that I wanted at a great university. Since then I had changed my study habits to never restrict my opportunities again. No one told me how to study and I had to find out on my own. Since no one told me how, I would like to share my top 5 university study tips with you guys.

Treat Study Like A Job

Work from nine to five and don't get distracted. Focus all your mental energy on schoolwork during this time. Go straight to the library and review notes or do assignments between lectures/labs. Don't waste time texting on your phone, watching videos, general procrastination, and etc. Treating your student life like a job is crucial for discipline and diligence. You can relax and enjoy your leisure time after you work, but you need to really focus when you work.

Go To Class and Listen in Class!

Skipping class is one of the worst things you can do. The lecturer is there for a reason. Their slides cover only half the content so you can't just rely on them. Lecturers explain ideas and concepts that aren't on the slides all the time. You need to be there to record this information and succeed. If the concept or idea did not make sense to you in class then you have the option to ask the lecturer about it.

I see so many people messing around on Facebook and online shops in class. Don't be tempted by this! Focus on what the professor says thats not on the slides and write notes down. This will save you so much time when you review lectures. It will also stick in your mind longer - reviewing reinforces this.

Ask Questions

You are paying for this in some way or another so don't waste a single drop of the education. Take advantage of this fact and squeeze every drop of knowledge from the professor. Check their office hours and seek them out if you are unsure of anything that they taught. They may even emphasise on something and give you a hint about what's on the exam. If you didn't already know, they are the people who write the exams.

Try to get to know the top students of your class. This is really helpful for asking questions about your specific paper. They don't have office hours and are just a Facebook message away from contact.

Hard Work Trumps Talent

Alright, we all know that kid that aces every test with minimal effort. F**k that kid. We aren't as gifted as him/her so we need to work a little harder to achieve their level of academics. It's 100% possible for anyone to ace any course with hard work. Trust me on this one, I've been there.

Get Enough Sleep

You work better when you get enough sleep. You will also pay more attention in class and won't be dozing off every couple minutes. Honestly, concentration in lectures is a very demanding process and a good night's sleep makes it noticeably easier. 

Coffee can only do so much and your sleep deprived days will add up. In time you won't be able to deal with the fatigue and will start skipping classes. Like seriously. Prioritise sleep.

  

Acting Like You Belong

DAY 6

Around 3 years ago two friends and I had decided to watch a movie on a weekend. I don't remember what movie we watched but there was an event that really stuck in my mind. I was in Macau at the time and the movie theatre was inside a fancy hotel. Keep in mind that every fancy hotel in Macau has a casino.

So a friend drove us to the hotel but had parked at an alternative car park for whatever reason. This car park was closer to the east entrance of the hotel and was farther away from the theatre. Normally we would go through the north entrance and arrive straight at the theatre, but the east entrance required going through the casino.

At that time the age to enter the casino area was 18 and I was only 16. So my friends both 18 and with no fear go through the guards towards the great mystery. What'd I do next? I followed them and was not questioned nor given a second glance. I had a mohawk and really looked like a kid at that time, but no one stopped me while I was walking through the casino grounds. 

Fast-forward after the movie we had to cross the casino again to get back to our friends car. Again my friends go through confidently and this time I kind of choked and hesitated for a bit. Like a eagle spotting it's prey the guard noticed my moment of hesitation and stopped me. "ID, please" - I didn't have my ID and even if I did I wouldn't be able to justify my case. I couldn't go pass and had to wait for my friend to drive to the north entrance to pick me up.

My high school physics teacher used to preach this: "if you act like you belong then no one would question you". That experience was a taste of what he was talking about. Since then it has been a hobby of mine to sneak around places where I shouldn't be. It's thrilling and fun you should try it. From experience, I have thought a lot about what makes this work and have come up with some tips.

Accept Yourself

As cliche as it sounds you need to believe in yourself first before you can get others to believe in you. Be able to convince yourself with whatever role you are playing. This means that you need to confidently display that you belong. Confidence means that you won't be questioned because it looks like you know what you are doing. 

Know Your Role

What does the persona you are playing do? What are the core actions that define that persona? What would make someone question you? What kind of clothing can disguise you? For example, if you're sneaking around a construction site you would need to look like one of the workers. You would need to carry construction materials around and wear a hard hat. Sometimes you would need to stop and perform some actual work to really sell your disguise.

Keep Moving

I can't stress this enough. This makes you look like you are busy and does not give people enough time to question you. You can be really confident and still look out of the ordinary if they question or talk to you. Keep in mind that these people are also hesitant to question strangers. Especially if you displayed confidence for the few seconds that they saw you. Keep moving so they don't have the chance or time to analyse you.

If you get lost or reach a dead end, act like you were meant to reach that point and keep moving.

Avoid Eye Contact

When you make eye contact you invite someone to start a conversation. You don't want that because it raises your chance of being caught. If you do make eye contact, try to play it off and give that person a confident smile and keep moving.

Don't Act Suspicious

This goes without saying. It's part of knowing your role, but it's important enough to be it's own point. Don't do anything that raises peoples curiosity. This includes sneaking around and nervously looking around. You 'are' someone that belongs, you don't need to hide or run. Doing something suspicious gives someone reason to question you. If you need to do something suspicious do it when no one's watching.

Three Core Factors of Change

DAY 5

One of my own personal goals is to become a writer. One who is a sharer of ideas and a master of words. To reach this goal I've been reading a lot and recently discovered the three engines of change. Originally the concepts were from the book The Happiness Hypothesis which was written by University of Virginia psychologist Jonathan Haidt. I found it elaborated and explained in Chip & Dan Heath's book Switch: How To Change Things When Change Is Hard. Knowing these factors will allow you to understand how change works and help you on your process.

The book uses analogies to describe the relationship between our rational thinking side and our emotional thinking side. Our emotional side is called the Elephant and our rational side is called the Rider. Our brains make decisions based on these two perspectives. The situation and environment that the Rider and the Elephant go through is called the Path. This is the analogous to the same situation and environments that we go through. These three forces characterise our everyday decision making and process of change. I'll explain the role of each one in a little detail.

The Rider and The Elephant

Providing the Elephant direction is the Rider's most important job, and without a strong one the Elephant would always overpower the Rider's decisions. Our rational side, The Rider, represents willpower and that willpower can be exhausted by your emotional side's resistance to change. The Elephant focuses on short term satisfaction and the Rider plans for long term. Think of it as someone trying to steer a 6 ton elephant into going the direction that it wants. The Rider can only force the Elephant in a direction for so long before the Elephant exhausts the rider and changes direction.

A 'strong' Rider is one that can provide crystal clear instructions for the Elephant. It's strength comes from it's ability to influence the Elephant. The ability to inspire our emotions and cause motivation is what makes the Elephant go in a direction. The Elephant is very simple and volatile so when things aren't working the way they seem it would react. It's stubbornness causes resistance to change and reverting back to old ways. A coherent step by step process is needed for the Elephant to understand why the Rider wants to go in a direction. From understanding each piece the Elephant would be more inspired and motivated to move towards change.

An example of this is if a person wanted to change himself to exercise regularly. That person's 'Rider' would need to define a clear goal and provide the steps to that goal. By looking into what exercises build towards the goal and generating a plan towards the goal, the Elephant would be inspired and motivated to move in that direction. Without a goal and without a direction the Elephant would do what it feels like and often does not result in change. The Rider needs the drive and energy of the Elephant to move in the direction of our goals. We need to emotionally inspire ourselves towards rational decisions to get lasting change.

The Path

The environment and situation that we are proposing change in matters. This is independent from the relationship between the Rider and The Elephant. If we are placed in a Path that leads us towards a general result then eventually we will end up there. A Path can be preventing us from reaching a certain destination so we need another path that leads us towards change.   

For example - studies show that people who eat from larger containers generally eat more. This information can be useful for a person trying to lose weight. It's rather simple, but its an example of how a situation can affect our direction towards a goal. Now that the person identified the Path, they can follow another Path in which they eat from smaller bowls. This makes them generally eat less and move towards their goal no matter what.

Paths can be identified and changed so that one is generally moving towards a goal no matter what. It is just as important to identify ones situation and environment to see if it encourages change.

If you want to know more about these concepts read Switch: How To Change Things When Change Is Hard. It's an interesting read that goes a lot more in depth about each of these roles with real world examples. 

Building Habits

DAY 4

So yesterday I made a post about the best habits to acquire during your youth. Today I will focus on actually building your habits. As I discussed yesterday, habits sculpt your life. Therefore it is important to build positive habits to get you to success. Realise that your actions and experiences define who you are. The small steps you take everyday need to lead you upwards toward your goals for you to achieve success. People don't achieve success over night, it takes time and discipline to get from point A to point B.

Dustin Moskovitz, one of the co-founders of Facebook, was once asked how he felt about Facebook being an "overnight success". He phrased his answer in this fashion: “If by ‘overnight success’ you mean staying up and coding all night, every night for six years straight, then it felt really tiring and stressful.” He had a goal in mind and he slowly climbed towards it. If you have a goal you want to achieve, you need to take the time and discipline to develop habits that direct you towards the goal.

Transforming your habits is not an easy thing to do. It's one of the things that separates people who are successful and the rest of the flock. It's really hard to stay on track with your habits if you are just starting. Don't be discouraged though, there are ways to make it less hard and maybe even easy. Here are 3 extremely helpful tips that I find useful for transforming habits.

1. Have a Big Goal, and Work Towards It Slowly

Don't expect so much from yourself when you first start your habit. Do a minimum amount of work for the day and that work would slowly build up. Doing too much at the get go will cause you to burn out. You need to adjust to change before increasing the intensity of the task. If you start with a habit that was too intense and you weren't prepared or disciplined enough you won't follow through with it. Start with a small manageable task then eventually move on to tasks that require a bit more management.

Let's say you want to lose weight and you decide to cut carbs cold turkey. In a couple days or a week you would probably be eating carbs again because your mind and body can't handle it. Now let's say you decreased the carb content in your food over time. You still eat less than you normally did, but you are conditioning your body and mind as well. Each time you cut it your mind would be saying "it's just a little bit less than before" until eventually it's gone from your diet, and your body would be okay with that. Habits should be gradually eased into your life like this!

One main reason why people start a habit and quit shortly after is because they are expecting too much from their work. A lot of effort may be put in, but the results just weren't worth the effort for them. When you start with smaller tasks with the mindset of just building a habit it becomes a lot easier. By letting your habit develop you make it part of your daily routine to work on your goal. Results will eventually show, success isn't for the impatient.

2. Visualise the Processes

A research study from UCLA concluded that visualising helps in achieving our goals. Commonly people visualise the end result of the goal, but research nowadays show that dreaming too much about your end result reduces your motivation towards the goal. 

If we don't fantasise about the goal then what do we fantasise about? We should fantasise about the process of achieving the goal. Visualising the steps it takes to reach the goal works because it helps you plan and it reduces your anxiety towards tackling the goal. It motivates you to do whats needed to reach the goal and therefore it helps you create habits. Visualise each step and process of starting your habit and you'll feel more relaxed about making life changes like these.

3. Program Your Actions

Laying down action chains and mechanisms for your daily routine is really helpful towards sticking with it. Have a goal in mind and add your habit to a process through the "if...then..." formula. Lets say you wanted to keep your room tidy as a goal and a portion of the mess is clothes. A simple habit program for dealing with this is: "if  I take off my jacket then I need to hang it up". Another simple example could be: "if I take off my clothes then I'll throw them in the laundry bin or fold them for later if they are clean". By having context to what you're doing then it's easier to commit to the task because you aren't relying on sheer willpower.

Best Habits To Start Young and Make Your Adult Life Easier

DAY 3

The actions of your habits build up with negative and positive effects. Over time the effects become more noticeable and impactful in your daily life. I grew up with a lot of friends who became smokers at a young age. They would smoke socially as a habit then over the years turn into actual smokers themselves. This bad habit had led them to a dependance on smoking. I'm not going to rant about how smoking is bad, but I want you to know that a small habit can eventually turn into a big part of your life.

Just like a bad habit, a good habit that is practiced over a long time leads to significant results; it's like a snowball effect. To be able to practice a habit for a long time you need - surprise! surprise! time! Where do you get all this time? When you are young of course! Here are 3 awesome habits to start when you are younger. They carry on to your adult life and make it a ton easier.

1. Exercise and Healthy Eating

When you are busy with work, relationships, and other commitments in life it is easy to put off exercise and eating healthy. Realise the importance of habitual exercise when you are young so that you are fit and healthy as an adult. Exercising helps you build discipline and fend off laziness. Being active allows you to ease into old age with less problems. A simple routine such as 20 pushups, squats, and crunches can in time lead to big results. Find what type of exercise suits you best and stick with it. It's not all just running and lifting weights! Theres rock-climbing, martial-arts, fencing, basketball, soccer, hiking, etc. Get out and find what makes you active!

Eating healthy is just as important because it makes your exercise more effective. All that junk food adds up, and when you reach adulthood you might be facing weight issues. Start the habit of eating healthy and you'll feel more lively. There are more ways to eat healthy than with just salads and boiled foods. Look up different recipes and soon you would be loving it, I guarantee it. 

Many chronic diseases develop due to bad eating habits. Diabetes, heart disease, and cancer - you've all heard about these infamous diseases. They are the leading cause of deaths in the first world countries. Healthy eating and exercising is a significant habit that you need to develop so that you avoid these health implications when you're older.

2. Time Management

People usually put off what they need to do until the deadline. They think that doing things earlier requires more effort. It's actually quite the opposite, it requires the same if not less effort to get something done earlier than to wait until the deadline. Think about it. When you manage your time you are more focused on your tasks and you build momentum which increases your productivity. Things get done quicker when you don't stop to procrastinate. It's like you're running, but you stop every once in a while when you're procrastinating. You get to your goal slower and you need to build momentum each time you stop.

Hard workers set a time to work and play. When they work they really work! A lot of good results will come from managing your time. You will learn more because you're setting a time and learning faster. You will reduce stress because you are working before the deadline. Managing your time will also lead to higher quality work. As an adult you want all these perks to become the successful person that you want to be.

Make it habit to manage your time for effective periods of productivity. Take time to set aside during your days to focus on the given task and only on that task. This will also build discipline and when you reach adulthood you would be miles ahead of everyone else. Everyone has 24 hours in a day, but those who use these 24 hours more effectively go farther than the rest.

3. Read and Take Notes

Get into the habit of reading because it is so rewarding. Read for the enjoyment of it and read to immerse yourself in knowledge. There are so many books out there with literally thousands upon thousands of different content. All the content you found on the internet - the articles, the blogs, forum posts, etc... can be traced back to books! Books have been the root source of information for thousands of years and is still the primary source of information. Reading on the internet can lead you to the right direction, but if you want more in-depth insight books are your best friend.

Knowledge can be accumulated so you build a bigger pool over time. When you reach adulthood you want to be able to walk through life with ease. Through reading you will find out how to walk through life with ease. A habit so small such as reading 10 pages of a self help book a day can have a significant positive impact on how you act in your adult life. 

Take notes of important points to remember what you have read. It is good practice because you want to filter out the stuff that you can apply and the stuff that you can generally forget about. You won't agree with everything that you read, but you can take the useful stuff and continue for your pursuit of knowledge. As the saying goes - "knowledge is power". Starting this habit while you're young can make you a very "powerful" person in the future.

First Post

Hey world,
*crickets chirping*

As a person who never thought of blogging ever in his life, I find writing this first post very bizarre. Aside from that I have rekindled an inner passion to write and become a remarkable writer. I have always loved literature and poetry and wish to create art of my own. Here's an introduction to who I am and what I want to share with you guys.

My name is Hamish Lou and I am currently a pharmacy student at the University of Otago. I was born in Macau, but have lived in New Zealand for awhile. Ethnically I am Chinese-Burmese, and can speak both languages! 你好! မင်္ဂလာပါ! I have seen the urban lifestyles of the east and experienced the third worldly-ness, of Myanmar. I'd like to say I'm an open minded and positive person, but you can judge for yourself through my future posts.

In this blog I wish to develop myself and help others develop. I wish to an audience of young folk, teens and tweens, and teach them core life philosophies that I wish I knew when I was younger. A lot of worry and unnecessary struggle could've been prevented throughout my teenage years had I known the truths about life as I do now. Although I want to reach out to this audience the most, most of what I'll be writing about is applicable to people in all walks of life. To help myself and others, I will challenge myself to write a post everyday until the end of the year. Thanks for reading my introduction and stay tuned!

May all beings be happy!,
Hamish Lou